Accomplishment.

Wednesday was to be another 3 mile easy run, but I wound up only running about 2.5 miles of it. Even though that's only a half mile shy of it, I still felt disappointed in myself that I had stopped to walk several times. The only thing I felt good about was the fact that the total distance ran/walked was about 3.5 miles total.

Then yesterday, I decided to get back to doing the Ironstrength workout. Again, I felt a little discouraged that I had to do a very scaled down version of it, and even then, I was huffing and puffing. On one of the exercises, I really struggled.

Today, Smartcoach told me to run 2 easy miles. During the run, I started thinking about how I've been viewing myself and my running, and realized that I've been expecting to perform Olympic feats in order to have that sense of accomplishment. Okay maybe not Olympic feats, but much better "feats" than what I've been doing. And I realized... I've been too hard on myself.

I am unique as a runner. I can't compare myself to anyone else, or even to any plan out there that expects me to be at a certain level by a certain time frame. I haven't been an athlete all my life, and it wasn't until the past couple of years that I have set out to become one. So I need to go easier on myself, not compare myself to anyone else, and allow myself to feel the accomplishment of simply getting out there and doing it.

Sure, the woman on that Ironstrength workout makes it look easy as pie. But I'm not her. Who cares if I couldn't do the full version of it and struggled with one of the exercises? I am at where I am at, and I will get better over time. At least I'm attempting it. At least I got out there and ran today, despite sore legs from the workout yesterday. I could have stayed home and enjoyed the air conditioning.

The 2 mile run went better, by the way. I didn't stop, despite wanting to. And I felt accomplished at the end. :-)

Tomorrow I plan to do the Ironstrength workout again, then Monday will be my very first 4-mile run. Since my husband will be off that day for Memorial Day, I'm thinking about maybe driving to a park that I love to do it. It will have to be early, though. I really don't want to run 4 miles in the heat. Wish me luck. I'm not going to expect myself to run the whole 4 miles without stopping, but I am going to expect myself to feel good about trying.